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But once the child is born? George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. You don't say that about cats. ", 107. '", 123. ", 124. ", 48. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. Its because volunteers work for no pay. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Believe me, my friend. This is the best we can do folks. ", 29. But He loves you. Now, some people like to twist that around. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. They don't fall out of the sky. ", 9. ", 86. ", 110. ", 109. 'He's two' will do just fine. Everybody complains about politicians. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. #AmericaWakeUp. They own you. ", 104. ", 3. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. They dont wanna hear from you. [5] And another one: When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . His entire bit is included in the nearly two-minute video perfectly conjoined with photos of Trump and the results of his administration flood the screen. It takes up a lot of your time. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. ", 49. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. They don't want to hear from you. ", 114. Politicians don't care about you. (LogOut/ The people are f**ked. Yeah, the public sucks. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. After that, they don't want to know about you. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . ", 11. They own everything. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. Amen and Awomen. You have owners. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. ", 51. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. They own you. '", 73. leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Keep your circle small. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Everybody complains about politicians. 28. r/antiwork. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. Thats against their interests. They want your fuckin retirement money. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. Deal with it. -George Carlin There you are. Germany lost the Second World War. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. 3. Teach them to question what they read. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. I had an imaginary friend. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Where are these people hiding? Nobody seems to care. ", 105. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. What do you get at the end of it? Whatever you do dont make it go viral! This cookie is set by Akamai. "It's never just a game when you're winning. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. ", 95. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. Teach them to question everything. 43. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. And nobody seems to notice. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media "Everyone smiles in the same language. That doesnt help them. You voted them in. When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. - Arthur Baer. Here is one I would suggest: 'Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. The Great George Carlin. ", 101. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. 234. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. You and I are not in The Big Club. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. Carlin did this better than anyone else. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. You don't. From Life Is Worth Losing. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. ", 36. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. Theyre not interested in that. I'm a cowboy who . "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? And nobody seems to notice. They own, and control the corporation. The video featured audio from George's Wake Up America bit combined with imagery of events and people in today's society. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago "If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Carlin was a New York City-based stand-up comedian, social critic, writer, and actor, best known for his unconventional and vulgar comedy routines. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. ", 116. - George Carlin. On Election Day, I stay home. '", 70. You have no choice. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. Then you live in an old age home. They dont care about you at all. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? ", 34. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". ", 24. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. Now I feel better. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. They don't want to hear from you . This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' ", 55. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. They dont give a fuck about you. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. It will not be with jack-boots. ", 20. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. ", 100. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 4. They own everything" "They've. No nothing. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. They don't want to hear from you. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. 41. Nothing changed. "In America, anyone can become president. ", 25. You think your current financial. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. Yeah, the public sucks. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. ", 57. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. ", 10. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Try spelling Evian backward. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. ", 120. We havent tried that for a while. 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' RIP George Carlin. George Carlin. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. They own all the important land. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. ", 125. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. After that, they dont wanna know about you. . "I was a loner as a child. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. Obedience, respect for authority. ", 13. But once you're born, you're on your own. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? You ever notice that? And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. Its you. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. That's generally been true. I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media.

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